From Point A to Point B.

I started this blog on January 9, 2009 — almost seven years ago — with the following intention:

I genuinely want to know what makes relationships work and what love is really about. Actually, that’s not true at all… I bored myself just writing that. I just want to have an interesting exchange about the topic with those that haven’t totally given up yet, or maybe even with some who have.  That’s all.  And, if I’m lucky, somewhere along the way I might even be saved from my own cynicism…

So, New Year’s resolution, January 2009 [2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015]: Destroy the cynicism within.  Or do something new with my hair.  I’m not sure.   😉

Unfortunately, there is no 12 step process for “destroying the cynicism within.”  The hard truth is that some things can only be learned through a series of painful, yet worthy experiences that ultimately put you in a better place than you were when you began.  Here is very condensed summary of how I got from point A to point B in the last three years:

• Point A: I was guarded, opposed to dating, hung-up on my ex, and constantly trying to convince myself that I wanted to be single my entire life anyway.  I had earned a reputation for being hard to date.  A guy told his buddy he was going to ask me out and his buddy said, “Pfff. Good luck.”  No joke.
• When visiting my family in Michigan, I found out my grandfather was sick and decided to stay for a couple extra months to help care for him until he passed.
• After he died, I inherited the love letters between him and my grandma during WW2.  Talk about true love… They married soon after he was discharged from the Navy and stayed married for 64 years until the day my grandmother died.  Not gonna lie, I ugly cried on the floor of my grandfather’s bedroom when I realized just how much I longed to be loved the way my grandfather loved my grandmother. (I’m incorporating these letters into a book project. It’s an interesting window into the life of a sailor who went to war just after having met the love of his life.)
• I found this picture on Instagram and couldn’t stop going back to look at it:
  

  I know… It annoyed me too.

• I stopped talking to my ex-boyfriend… largely because I found out he was dating a 19-year-old, but hey, at least I cut it off.  The Instagram picture is right, sometimes you just gotta let go to open yourself up.
• Ten months ago, I agreed to go out with a guy I met 4 years ago for something other than breakfast.  I always said he was the type of guy I wanted to date if I was ready, but per usual I refused to give it a chance.
• Point B: Well, guess what? I fell in love:

The overwhelming feeling I have at the present moment, is that the relationship I have with this man was worth everything I had to go through to get here.  It was worth all the heartbreaks and failed relationships.  It was worth faking happiness while watching every. single. one. of my girlfriends get hitched.  It was worth having the entire Midwest question my sexual orientation because I was my 30’s and still single.  Most importantly, it was worth not settling.  And that’s really what I want to say to anyone out there who’s reading this blog.  It might take much longer than you hope to find the guy who loves you the way you deserve to be loved, but please don’t settle.  In the meantime, focus less on finding the right person, and more on being the right person.  That’s the lesson I had to learn the hard way.

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