Looooove Paul McCartney.

Any Paul McCartney fans out there?  This is one of the most romantic songs of all time.  Perfect for a wedding sideshow.  Although, to associate this song with weddings would totally wreck it for me.

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For the last time, I didn’t steal your bone!… Ok, I did.

Oliver

Meet Oliver, my roommate’s dog.  I will be the first to admit that he is one of the cutest dogs I’ve seen.  I will also be the first to chuck him across the room because he is so annoying.  (Relax PETA — it’s a joke).  Among other things, for whatever reason, he has an unhealthy obsession for his bone.  But here’s the thing:  he has not once chewed on it.  All he does is carry it around until he finds the perfect little hiding spot, buries it, and then stands guard, threatening everyone (especially men) who comes near it.

Last night, he buried his bone in my bed before I went to sleep.  I found it when I made my bed the next morning and put it on top of the fridge because I didn’t want to have to deal with it all day.  My plan worked until it was time to go to bed the next night.  Sure enough, as Oliver does, he remembered exactly where he hid it and — when he discovered it was no longer there — he was angry with me.  Seriously angry.  He sniffed my hands to see if I touched it; he sniffed my mouth to see if I ate it; he sniffed every corner of my room to see if I re-hid it; and then he sat down right in front of me and just stared at me as if to say — and I’m not kidding — “Where’s my bone, Bit@h?”  Ridiculous… but still, cute in his own little completely obnoxious way.

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Facebook in reality.

I feel like this video speaks for itself on the ridiculousness of the social phenomena we all know as “Facebook.”

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My most embarrasing moment deserves a long post.

I was reading one of those girly fashion / fitness / sex instruction / make you feel ugly magazines and was particularly drawn to the column in which people share their most embarrassing moments.  Probably because it was one of the few columns that made me feel better about myself.  I mean, nothing THAT embarrassing could ever happen to me!

And then I remembered what has been suppressed for so many years.  I’m going to try to make this quick and painless, like ripping off a Band-Aid… wish me luck.

I spent the majority of my college days either in the morgue or on the 5th floor of the library.  The morgue was a room in the basement of the dorm that was so silent that a whisper would startle you to death.  It sounds miserable but that’s the kind of atmosphere I needed to study for my exams successfully and even then I still wore ear plugs.  Call me crazy.  I’m used to it.

After sitting at a desk in the morgue for 4 hours straight studying for my philosophy exam, I figured it was time for a change of environment.  So I packed my bag with my books, caffeinated mints, and an extra pair of earplugs and headed for the library.

The library had 5 floors and the top one was used mainly for people like me — people who obsessed over getting good grades because they found their identity in getting A’s (one time a B+ sent me straight to the counselor… don’t worry, I’m a much healthier person now.  Prozac is amazing).

In the center of the first floor of the library is a large lobby where people like to congregate around computers to check their e-mail or search for books or sit around large tables to work on their group presentations… Anyway, my point is, there’s always a lot of people there.  And in the middle of the lobby is the elevator.

The elevator is so painfully slow that I usually just take the stairs but as I entered the library I noticed that the elevator was on the first floor as if it knew I was coming.  So I head towards it.  I was a good 50 feet away when the doors started to close so I broke into a slow jog.   It’s not everyday that a person jogs through the library so naturally it drew some attention.  This made me even more eager to get into that elevator so that people could quickly forget the girl who jogged through the library lobby.   At 10 feet, I looked up and saw the elevator doors were almost closed so in my best flying superman pose I stuck my right arm out thinking that once the doors hit it, the elevator would reopen.  Not the case.  The doors couldn’t get enough of me and hugged my arm like I’ve never been hugged before.

So there I stood in the middle of the busy library lobby with my bags over my shoulder and my right arm jammed into the elevator doors.  The number of people looking at me suddenly changed from about 10 to 50.  And as if things couldn’t get any worse, from out of the crack in the elevator door emerged the most handsome fingers I had ever seen.  He was trying to pry the doors open.

This went on for what felt like 7 minutes until finally, Mr. Handsome Fingers thought of pressing the door open button.  Our eyes met.  I thanked him, entered the elevator, turned to my crowd and took a bow as the elevator doors of my self-esteem closed for good.  Well… not for good.  I’m doing just fine now — six years later.

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Eye candy.

Sigh.  I try to make a joke, which I think is quite clever, and nobody gets it.  Robert Pattinson played the role of Edward Cullen in the movie Twilight.  See, a girl named Bella falls madly in love with Edward who is a vampire — to the point where she wants to be turned into a vampire, or basically die, so she can be with him forever.  Hence, “Robert Pattinson — he’s to DIE for.”

Make fun of me all you want, but I will say that almost every female I know has at least read the first book in the series…

Here’s a bit of eye candy for you all:

Robert Pattinson as Edward

Robert Pattinson

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Secret admirers are creepy.

Imagine you’re at work in the middle of a busy day and someone walks over to your desk and drops off a vase of flowers accompanied by a letter from a secret admirer.  Romantic right?  Wrong.  It’s totally creepy.  This happened to my roommate this week.  Her secret admirer posed as a flower deliveryman hoping to see her when he dropped off the flowers.  Since she was working, he left them with the receptionist (and even made her sign for them — props for being thorough).

Maybe to any other woman this would, in fact, be very romantic, but my roomie and I had similar reactions.  We are a lot alike that way, not responding well to the pursual of someone we barely know… or don’t know at all for that matter (unless you’re talking about Robert Pattinson — he’s to DIE for).  The guy could be a dream but if he freaks you out straight from the beginning, it’s not likely to go very far.

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Arthur & Yu.

I instantly fell in love with this band.  Arthur & Yu is an indi folk band from Seattle, Washington.

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OMG! Status update!

Sorry… I couldn’t resist.  The Barbie blog cracks me up.  See ladies?  If it can happen to Barbie, it can happen to you!  Oh, I did the math and suddenly it makes total sense by Ken didn’t try to save Barbie from the Bengal Tiger.  It must have been a pretty rough break up…

My Boyfriend’s Back!

Maybe you know, maybe you don’t, but Ken and I have been on a little break since 1994. (Okay, I guess that counts as a long-ish break.) But it seems he’s never quite gotten over me. And you know what? I haven’t really gotten over him either. This Valentine’s, I think we’re giving it another shot.

That’s right; it’s official: My boyfriend’s back!

Fashion will always be my one true love, but with Ken on my arm, I know I’ll always look good.

Love is in the air,

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The long distance thing.

I dated an Australian for two and half years.  Doesn’t that sound sexy?  He had the nice accent and everything.  If it weren’t for the fact that he lived on the other side of the planet (and a number of other reasons that made “us” absolutely impossible) I think we would have worked out quite well.

At the time I started dating him I was a full believer in long distance relationships.  I mean, surely, if you love someone enough it can work, right?  Absolutely… NOT with that mentality.  It takes a whole lot more than this euphoric idea of love to make any relationship work, much less a long-distance relationship.

Here’s what I learned from my experience:

1. Communication is everything.  The silent treatment is not effective and actually turns out to be a little expensive over the phone.
2. Creativity is important. Talking on the phone is great but only fun for so long and at the time we didn’t have webcams so “seeing” each other was out of the question.  It got a little… boring.   So you just gotta come up with ways to make it fun.
3. You must be able to trust.  If you’re the jealous type, don’t even try long-distance.  I don’t mean to be discouraging, but if you can’t handle your significant other hanging out with people of the opposite sex in your absence then you will drive yourself CRAZY.
4. Never believe your boyfriend if he sends you a little music box in the mail that plays “The Wedding March” when you turn the little crank and has a note attached that says, “I promise.”  It’s a LIE.  Not that I’m bitter about it… no really, I’m not.

In the end, my half-way-around-the-world relationship didn’t work out but I DID get to go to Australia twice.  (Nothing like a destination that takes 27 hours and 4 anxiety pills to get to).  By the time that relationship was over I swore I would never knowingly start another long distance relationship again.  Which is turning out to be an interesting pact with myself considering the career path I’ve chosen.  I mean, let’s just say I meet the man of my dreams somewhere on location?  Too bad?  Or what if I’m dating someone and I have to go to Vancouver for five months for a film?  That’s it?  Am I able to have both a film career and a healthy relationship?

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Need a good laugh?

This video makes me laugh every single time I watch it…

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