Ladies and Gentlemen, the definition of love.

Anyone who can come up with an accurate, all encompassing, universal definition of love should be elevated to the highest place imaginable in society because they will have accomplished the impossible.  In my best attempted, I came up with, “Love is the absence of hate.”  One some level, it’s pretty true.  My new friend Evan tried to challenge me on it:

Evan: How would you define love?
Me:  As the absence of hate.
Evan: But… what about like?  That’s not hate or love.
Me:  Sure it is.  It’s platonic love.
Evan: Fine then what about lust?
Me:  That’s selfish love, which might as well just be hate.

Soon after having this conversation, Evan and I went to see the movie Paper Heart.

If you haven’t already seen the movie Paper Heart, I recommend seeing it.  It’s a good one to see if you’re in a relationship, or if you’re single, or even if you’ve just recently gotten dumped.  (I promise it’s not one of those make-you-want-to-slit-your-wrist romantic comedies that rubs salt in the wound).  I was in a terrible mood when I saw it and yet I laughed the whole way through.

There were a few scenes in the movie that I thought were a little contrived but if you’re able to look past those, it’s a cute story (staged to be a documentary) about a girl whose experiences of “love” have turned her into a modern-day skeptic (Hey! That’s me!).  The film tells the story of her trip across the country to find the answer to her question: Does true love really exist?  …only, she didn’t really find an answer, unless the answer is that she’s the problem… so… yeah.

Why didn’t I think of this first?

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Update on my life.

I’ve been SO busy these last couple weeks but I can honestly say it has been a couple of the best weeks of my life.  I’ve been living in a new place, making new friends, trying new things… Anyway, trying to describe it doesn’t really do it justice so I’ve decided to just show you (I love you Clinton!!)

More to come…

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“Carts of Darkness.”

Apparently, riding shopping carts down steep hills is kind of a big deal here among a select crowd of homeless people…

You can watch the entire documentary online here: http://www.nfb.ca/film/carts_of_darkness

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The mysterious shopping cart man reappears.

When I said I never thought I’d see it again, I meant it.  But today, as I was on my way home from work, my path once again crossed with the homeless man and his shopping cart.  Serendipity?  Well, I wouldn’t go that far.  Amusing?  Definitely.

This time, I managed to roll down my window, give an encouraging cheer, and take a picture.  I don’t know if I’ll ever learn the name of this mysterious shopping cart man but I will certainly always remember him.

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A mile marker for me and the homeless guy on the shopping cart.

Tuesday marked the six month anniversary of this blog.  I can barely believe how fast the last six months passed!  I don’t have much of a progress report to give concerning my new year’s resolution of 2009 (see my about page).  But I can tell you two things:

1. Apparently, my cynicism about love and relationships is most likely a defense mechanism.  (I can’t tell you how many people have decided that for me).
2. The most interesting thing that happened in the last six months occurred yesterday on my way home from work.  As I was driving up a long, steep hill, I saw an unidentifiable object speeding straight toward me.  I moved into the left lane to avoid a collision and looked over as I passed an absolutely terrified homeless man riding down the hill on a grocery cart, rapidly picking up speed.  He had to be going at least 35 mph.  The best part of it all is imagining what he was thinking BEFORE he decided it would be a good idea to stand on his cart and ride it down the hill.  I bet that was a first for him… and a last.

So, it’s looking more and more like I might be stuck doing something new with my hair in order to fulfill my 2009 new year’s resolution since I apparently don’t have any real cynicism to destroy… I’m taking suggestions but not making any promises.  Except for maybe to that homeless guy.  I think it’s safe to promise that I’ll never see anything like that again.

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The man code.

Last week I watched “The Bachelorette” and was rooting for David… until he opened his mouth and started talking.  But as much as he annoyed me, I learned something from him that I never knew existed.  Get ready for this…  THE MAN CODE.  It all started when the guys were sitting around drinking (what else to they do on that show?  It’s the only way they can get them to talk).  One guy supposedly faked taking a shot which was a big no-no according to the “man code.”  David was really upset about it and stated that this shot-faking guy should be tied to a tree and beaten.  Quizzical looks were given to which he replied, “What?  It’s the man code!”

Now, what exactly IS “The Man Code?”  Is it an unsaid list of rules that are universally known by men everywhere?  Rules that define manhood?  If that’s the case (and if it defines manhood for guys like David) I imagine it would look something like this:

1. Always pay for your date’s dinner.  To do otherwise demonstrates weakness.
2. If you feel threatened, puff out your chest and talk louder to intimidate and scare your enemy away.
3. You shall NEVER fake taking a shot or any alcoholic beverage.
4. Use macho speak including but not limited to phrases like ”Yo baby – wuz up?” “DAAAMMMNNNN you look good girl,” “Dude,” and when someone crosses you, “He deserves to die.”
5. Never believe “no” really means no.
6. Never accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong;  Always take credit for things that go right.
7. Never be caught dead applying any kind of lip product.
8. Don’t be upset if your girl makes more than you. In fact, embrace it.  And then exploit it.
9. If necessary, use emotional manipulation to get what you want.
10. Any “action” obtained must be embellished ie: a single = a triple; a strikeout = a single.

* In the event that a man breaks any one of the rules listed in the man code, he shall be tied to a tree and beaten.

(Here’s my little disclaimer:  I’m not a believer in the said “Man Code.”  But guys like David make it hard to resist commenting on the ridiculousness of the matter).

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Feeling uninspired.

I’m sitting in the center of my bed with my computer on my lap feeling totally uninspired right now.  As you can see, the frequency of my blogs has dropped significantly.  I tribute that to going from a very spotted working schedule to working 10 hour days M-F.  And being a new city, I find it hard to make myself sit by a computer in my free time when there is so much exploring to do!  Don’t get me wrong — I love all of my readers.  But also keep in mind that my definition of “true love” is best defined by observing pengiuns….

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Airplane Diary: Starring Mr. Gas-X

The day before I left for Vancouver a close friend of mine joked, “Maybe you’ll meet your husband on the airplane.”  Ha!  Yeah right.  But, I did secretly hope I’d end up sitting next to the man of my dreams…

I’m sure I had the best seat on the plane… if the definition of best is “excruciatingly terrible.”  I know what you’re thinking — last row, next to the bathroom.  I would have paid extra for that.  No, I was in seat 15 E right in between Mr. “Gas-X” and Mr. “Swimsuit Edition.”

Now, I’m not going to get into detail but if you are ever in a situation where the first thing the person next to you does is pop a couple Gas-X tablets, LEAVE.  Unfortunately for me, it was a full flight.

Mr. Swimsuit Edition was an over-weight guy who appeared to be in his mid-30’s.  I tried really hard to just read my book (Eclipse — third book in the Twilight series… I know).  But I couldn’t help but get distracted by the inconsistent speed at which this guy was turning the pages of his magazine.  He was flying past all the sports articles (the whole purpose of the magazine… I thought) and would pause at the pictures of the hot chicks with their boobs so big that they were almost popping off the page!

Feeling very uncomfortable and suddenly very aware that the sleeve of his shirt was touching my shoulder I shifted slightly to the left and turned toward Mr. Gas-X, a 55-year old, also over-weight guy who must have been going through some sort of male menopause.  I glanced at what he was reading.  Not to be nosy — I just noticed that he was reading a fitness magazine and a picture of a hot guy with glistening abs caught my attention.  Needless to say, I was bummed when he turned the page to some boring sports article.

Somewhat satisfied, I returned to my book.  Moments later I heard it.  The noise that a person makes as if to say, “Hm, interesting. I oughta try that.”  It came from Mr. Gas-X who was now reading an article called, “Does She Really Like It That Way?: Hands, Breasts, Oral.”

AHHHH!

So I shifted to the right only to discover Mr. Swimsuit Edition had settled on reading an article titled, “Rough Sex: Not Just Rough But Passionate.”

Are you kidding me???  I was repulsed and I was trapped.  There was no escape.  I gave up on reading, put in my headphones and for the next 2 hours I kept my eyes closed, and listened to Coldplay’s “Don’t Panic” on repeat.

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The box.

I thought I’d share some pictures of my latest memory box creation… I’m kind of sentimental.  I don’t really have any guidelines of what is qualified to be box-worthy.  I usually throw in notes from friends that mean something to me, ticket stubs to shows, sports games, movies I’ve been too, things like that.  And every once in awhile, I look through the box just to re-live all the good times.  (In case you’re new to this blog, read about its source of inspiration here).

My love shoebox

... it's symbolic.

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The countdown begins.

In only 10 days I will be leaving for Vancouver, BC where I will be spending my summer working as assistant to the Producer on a film.  I’ve never been out that way but keep hearing from everyone and their mothers (literally) that it is a beautiful place.  I’m looking forward to the adventure.  I don’t know a soul out there but I’m sure it won’t be long until I have established a little life away from home.

You never know, maybe stepping outside of the Midwest for a minute is exactly what I need to get over this whole cynicism funk.  See, where I live, 99% of people get married right out of collage.  At least that is what if feels like.  Of my 12 close friends I graduated from high school with I’m the only one who is single and 6 of them have 1-2 kids.  And I JUST turned 26.  Maybe that’s not so unusual…. but I like to think that it is.  It’s pretty enjoyable to be mid-20’s and single.  I’m able to do so many things I know I wouldn’t have done if I was married with kids right now.  And that is definitely the direction I was heading before my boyfriend of 4.5 years and I broke up half way through my junior year of college.  Crazy how life changes.

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